Is it time for some real talk? When you're nearing the third trimester, I feel like that's all you can really do. I'm at the point where I'm trying to be extra grateful for the feeling-good days and trying to find the bright side of the not-so-good days. My hips hurt, my legs hurt, my feet hurt. My stomach is going through another intense stretching phase as the baby gets bigger. Getting dressed hurts. I haven't been too emotional so far during this pregnancy, but lately I'm short-tempered and kind of just want to sit down and cry over nothing. The other day, I had a very real moment of telling Tim I'm not sure how I'm going to last three more months. These last few weeks have probably been the hardest of the entire pregnancy, but thankfully everything is normal. All these uncomfortable and sometimes painful symptoms are to be expected as the third trimester begins.
What am I most nervous for? As I enter the final stretch, a couple things have popped up on my radar. One being breastfeeding. I had such a hard time with Ella. And the fact that those challenges significantly contributed to my postpartum depression and anxiety makes me even scared to tread in those waters again. I've thought a lot about it and talked with Tim about it, and I'm still unsure. One thing is for sure, this time around I'll be confident in whatever decision we make, and I won't let others' opinions negatively affect how I feel about whatever decision we come to.
Something else I've been thinking about a lot lately is splitting my attention between the new little guy and Ella. This has come up on my radar because lately I haven't been able to be as active and playful with Ella as I'd like to be. And it breaks my heart. It's made me nervous about having another little one around.
What am I most excited for? Our ultrasound on Monday. It's an appointment to make sure some things are moving along as they should be, so that part is a little nerve wracking, but I'm excited to see our little guy on the big screen!