On pleasing everyone
Learning that we can't please everyone is a lesson we continue to learn as we get older. It seems the older we get, the more comfortable we become in our own skin and therefore care a little bit less about pleasing every single person around us.
It's a lesson that's been on my mind lately. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm looking to improve this blog, so I'm questioning my writing. Is my writing too real, too TMI? Should I write about all things happy all the time? Maybe it's because the topic of pleasing everyone came up in reference to wedding planning the other day in a conversation with my in-laws. Maybe it's because in a short period of time I will have two little ones, and the biggest thing I've learned as a mom is you can't please everyone.
Regardless of the reason as to why it's been on my mind, I've been trying to become more comfortable in knowing that I can't please everyone who will read my writing, who will observe my parenting style, or who will simply come in contact with me. Generally, I like to try to please everyone. I like to give my opinion, but I don't like to get people all riled up. It stresses me out. I like to keep the peace, and I have a hard time dealing with insults even though I brush it off and say I'm trying my best and that's what matters. Strengthening this part of me is a priority of mine as my kids get older, but continually doing so is hard work, and I'm not always sure of how to move forward.
What I do know is when we take the time to please everyone else, it robs us of the time to be our true selves. It slowly chips away at our authenticity and instead of giving 100% in all that we do, we give 90% in fear of others' opinions and criticisms.
I should note there are some opinions that do matter. Our family's, our close friends. These people have our best interests at heart, so (constructive) criticisms should be valued and reflected upon. It's those that don't know you, couldn't care less about your well-being, and are trying to boost their self-confidence by bringing you down. These are the people I am referring to.
Someone will always have an opinion, someone will always talk, someone will always think you're lesser or greater or could be better. So give everything you do all you've got. I've learned it's when you hold back a part of yourself that you most often regret it.