Ending on a high note

If you couldn't tell by my last post, this week was a harder week.  The effort I've been putting into getting this postpartum anxiety under control failed me.  This resulted in figuring out what the next step should be and then to make an action plan.

All the while researching various therapies and medicines, I quickly became discouraged.  I got hung up on the previous course of action not working and was in the midst of dealing with side effects from my current medicine.

Hold on.  It gets better.  (Actually, not sarcastically.)

I was trying to keep a positive spirit.  For my husband, for my daughter.  But I was struggling.  And my husband noticed.  He went above and beyond for me in trying to make the second half of this week better than the first.  And it was.

It started off with a Skype date with my best friend.  Even in the darkest times, this friendship brings light into my life.  We can talk about things like weird encounters with waiters or a Friends episode for three hours, and I'm instantly uplifted.  It's one of the biggest blessings in my life, and I'm especially reminded of that during weeks like this one.

Then on Wednesday night, my husband came home and said we're going out.  He took me out to dinner and out for coffee afterward.  We walked around the mall and I couldn't help but to love the Christmas lights, trees, and music.

In my turtleneck and ready to party.

Dinner date buddy.
Mini-family photo shoot.
On Thursday, he left for work and returned shortly after.  Coffee in hand, he told me to get ready, we have Christmas shopping to do.  The day turned into an incredibly special day.  Instead of packing in Christmas shopping in between running errands on Saturday.  A day was set aside to slow down, regroup, and think about nothing but Christmas and our family.  We took turns shopping for each other, finished up what we wanted to get for Ella and our friends.  And closed out the day filled with Christmas cheer.

Mall selfie.  Whaaaat.
What a day of Christmas shopping will do.
Again.  I talk about real life here.  I don't sugar-coat things that shouldn't be sugar-coated.  In other words, in the midst of dealing with anxiety and depression, I won't be unrealistic in saying I'm fine.  I'll say, I'm not fine, but I'm trying to be.  I'm optimistic things will look up, but I'm realistic in knowing where I currently stand.

The point of that?  The last couple posts have been a bit bluer.  And as a contributing member of society who likes to spread positive energy and all that, I feel like I should apologize.  But I shouldn't feel that way.  And I won't apologize.  Living is full of light and darkness.  And I'd like to reiterate there's no wrong in choosing to talk about the darkness.  

With that being said, I'm going to close out this week on a high note.  This week started off unpleasantly, but it ended better than it started.  

And sometimes that's all you need.


  1. I love this entire post -- and especially that mall selfie with the girl!!! That is the BEST!!!!
    I hope you all have the most fabulous, amazing, blissful, grace filled, twinkling and sparkling Christmas ever! We miss you!!


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