Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Finding joy in the quiet


When I was 17, I had a mentor who I still hold near and dear.  We were having a conversation that ultimately brought to light my need to be constantly "running around".  I worked, I did school, and used all my time in between to be out with friends.  Though it was a particularly difficult time, some of my best memories are from those infamous teenage years.  I remember him telling me that one day, I will get to a point where I will enjoy my own company; I won't need to go out to feel particularly fulfilled or at peace, that I will find joy in the quiet by myself.

I've thought about that a time or two over the years, but it's come to mind especially lately.  I tend to be fueled by being out with people and among friends, but I have come to a point where my alone time is greatly cherished.

Every now and then, when dinner is put away, the kitchen is cleaned, and my little girl is tucked in bed, my house is dimly lit, the twinkle lights go on, I find comfort by my couch and favorite throw. Sometimes, I'm accompanied by my husband and good conversation, other times, it's just me - me and my thoughts and maybe a good beverage (if I weren't pregnant, it'd be wine).  Nothing brings me peace and a certain joy that this setting brings.  And I've been surprised by it.  I remember when he told me that, I couldn't fathom getting to a place where I would be perfectly content alone on my couch.  But I am.

I love a good jammed-packed weekend full of outings and friends and a whole lot of chatter, but the joy that comes from being in solitude and soaking in the quiet hits me on a whole other level - one of great peace and gratitude.

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