Farewell, Summer

<<Insert big sigh>>

You had a rough start, Summer.  Neither Tim nor I had any idea how you were going to turn out.  As of May 20th this was the tone going into the month of June:

If I'm being honest (as my brother-in-law would say, "this is a safe circle, right?), I was slowly slipping into despair.  I was fighting it, really, I was.  A hard and strict workout schedule was my main weapon of choice, I was doing everything my doctor was telling me to do, we were still trying to actively move.  No matter what I tried, though, I felt like I was losing the battle.  The past three years had taken its toll and collectively, Tim and I were fractured from the intensity of so much life hitting us at once on our lone island.

Going into Summer we had no move out East in our foreseeable future, no jobs lined up, no budget to make it happen, no concrete place to rent, no babysitter for our children.  Soon after, prompted by a quite literal mental breakdown, I emptied my soul and threw myself into the arms of St. Joseph through a novena.  If, at the end of the novena, something worked out, great.  If not, I made the choice that I'd find peace knowing we were simply not yet meant to move.*  Within three days of finishing our novena, all the pieces of our moving puzzle were complete - jobs for both of us, a place to rent, a moving budget, our top babysitter of choice to watch our kids.  Our unforeseen future was, far off in the distance, but now clear.

Since this was an answer to a prayer, I knew something was coming.  Something meaning, I knew this was going to take a great deal of work and patience on our part.  This move was put into our lives to teach us something and we were going to have to learn the lesson whether we liked it or not.

And I was right, (but it's okay; I braced for impact).

We took a U-Haul and 2 babies across the country, we installed a floor and lived and worked in an unfinished space for an entire month, we straight up ran out of money, Archie entered his worst phase of teething right when we arrived, I started working 3 days after we entered the Eastern Time Zone.  It wasn't easy.  And I don't remember a lot of the details of the past weeks, we've been moving too fast.

But we're here.  And, to continue with my candidness, I feel a little uncomfortable and undeserving of all the help we've received since being here.  It's been overwhelming in the best sort of way.  My West Coast chapter was brought into my life for many reasons; some of the best, most life-altering moments happened in that part of the country.  But what I've taken away is perspective.  The last time I lived in Michigan, I used to get worked up over the pettiest things and I took for granted the people around me.  Now?  Yes, I have my days (I always will) but I put my best into my job and love hard on the people around me.  There's no reason not to - it's a blessing to work and have loved ones.

I'm not yet 30 (for some reason, I feel like you have to be 30 in order to say this sort of thing) but, the more I go through life, the more I learn to enjoy it - the good and the bad.  I've said it a thousand times, our last chapter was difficult, but I worked to make the most of it and to enjoy the present moment.  And I'm proud of myself for that.

But I'm ever happy for this next chapter - the one that includes budgets for date nights, fall wardrobes, and bigger birthday parties.  So as much as I love Summer, I'm eager for the sunset to fall on these months.  Our boxes have been unpacked, we've found our routine, and I'm eager to start planning for the close of the year - the cider mill trips, the Black Friday shopping, the visit to Santa Clause.

Farewell, Summer.  You brought me scenes of a Wyoming sunset and the hills of Idaho.  You taught me patience and brought me to a place I've been dreaming of for a while now.  You're one for the books, no doubt, but it's time to say "goodbye", get out our boots and watch your colors change.


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